The world is passing me by…

While I was in the middle of reading a looooong case, its digest due in a couple of hours, my phone rang.

It was R. Good friend, great hangout buddy, ultra reliable harbinger of fun and drinking mayhem, inventor of the glorious, infamous Tisay that had us crawling all over Rastro.

He then tells me that he’s leaving for the US next month. As in 5 weeks from now. And he may never come back. As in, I may never see him again. Ever.

And then it hit me, the last time I had gone out with him was more than a year ago.

So many things we never got around to doing together. He was supposed to teach me how to play tennis (he’s a TENNIS PLAYER, as opposed to being just a tennis player, haha), teach me how to drive (let’s face it, not knowing how to drive at 25 is pathetic), and introduce me to the wonderful world of Ultimate Frisbee. I’ve never even been to his new pad and it’s been more than a year since he moved.

Of course, if we’ve somehow drifted apart, it’s all entirely my fault. Unlike most of my other friends who’ve given up all hope of ever pulling me out of the bog that is law school life, R has persistently maintained the belief that one day I’ll wake up, decide that I’m still cool and I still want to have a life, and take him up on one of his offers to hang out. In my defense, I too faithfully believed that I WOULD one day make time for the man who helped me enroll in UP and somehow make my way through the intimidating maze that is the Diliman campus (hey, for someone who has absolutely no sense of direction, UP Diliman is positively scary!), who picked me up from my evening classes regularly during the first few weeks of my I’m-lost-and-utterly-clueless-somebody-help-me first semester and drove me all the way to my condo in Mandaluyong and who will never be forgotten for having introduced me to the gastronomic delight that is the UP isaw.

Of course, I never did. 😦

We have 5 weeks though, and like he said, 5 weekends left. It might mean sacrificing a little gym time, a little volleyball time, maybe a little study time. It’ll mean a little less sleep, a bit more exhaustion and a lot more stress. But it’s Kuya R and I do love him.

In a way, it’s a wakeup call. How many more friends have I left fallen by the wayside while I let myself get completely sucked in by law school? Plenty.

When my law school friends ask me why I make time for volleyball, dance class, the gym… why I read constantly and maintain a blog… why I’m sneaking in guitar lessons in between typical hellish weeks in law school… when I should be putting in more study time and maybe vying for the top spots. I always say, that while I do study, put in the hours and obsess over school like everyone else, I try to remember that it’s not just about getting good grades, it’s about living a good life.

Hmmm…seems I haven’t been living as good a life as I thought I was.

RESOLUTION: Nurture relationships past and present.

***

I’ll start by going to Tagaytay with my AYLC friends tomorrow. AND finding a way to sneak in a little quality time with my buddy R in between that, studying AND the Conflicts of Law tournament.

A woman pulled in 20 different directions at any given time… that’s me. 🙂

And yet another reason NOT to become a lawyer…

So… here’s a horror story related by a Manhattan lawyer-turned-writer:

Before I became an attorney I worked as a paralegal at a New York
City (VERY white shoe) law firm. It was the go-go 90s. Associate
salaries were going up by astronomical sums every year, everybody was
working around the clock. As a paralegal I kept a clean change of
cloths, shampoo, toothpaste and a toothbrush, a blanket and a pillow
in my file cabinet…just in case. I used those items regularly.
Other people did exactly the same thing.

I worked with a tenth year associate (she made partner by year 11) who
worked on my matters and also was running a huge litigation. She
lived in New Jersey and had over an hour commute. She would generally
make it in the office by 8am and leave by 9 or 10pm. Everyday. She
was married and had two small children. She was a nice woman, but
horribly pulled in 17 directions.

Apparently (and I obtained most of this information from her
secretary) she was in the office (as usual) checking her bank balances
and noticed that $100,000 was missing from her joint investment
account. She called her husband to find out if he knew anything about
it. Her husband, a junior partner at a small firm in NJ, took her
call. He knew what had happened. (the following is a reconstructed
conversation based on hearsay and conjecture):

Wife: Husband, are you aware that there is $100,000 missing from our
joint bank account.

Husband: Yes, I took it out.

Wife: Why did you take the money out? You should have asked me before
you did that. What did you use it for?

Husband: I didn’t ask you because I knew your wouldn’t approve.
Besides, I bought a condo with it.

Wife: Why did you buy a condo? Where is it? I don’t understand.

Husband: Wife, I left you more than a month ago. I’ve moved in to an
apartment with my secretary. I was wondering how long it would take
you to notice.

Apparently he had always been a light sleeper so when she came home
late she slept in the spare bedroom and had sort of just moved in to
it for that past four months. In the meantime he was around on
weekends when she was home (working from home) so she saw him. It
never occurred to her that he had left. They had been together since
law school.

***

Sometimes, I wonder what it is exactly that I’m getting myself into.